I shared this with some close friends on December 2, 2020. My day job is in healthcare. My mom and sister are also healthcare workers. Every year we go to Disney World for all the winter holiday celebrations. We debated a lot about going in 2020, but Disney took amazing strides to keep people safe, including severely reducing their guest capacity. We felt safe going, and we very much needed to get away. On this day, the announcement that a vaccine was coming, and we all cried with joy. That night, we had a subdued but beautiful time at Magic Kingdom.

Usually this time of year Magic Kingdom has a Christmas party with its own parade and fireworks show. These were all canceled this year because of the pandemic, and instead Disney projected pretty holiday images on the castle while orchestral holiday music played. The images changed every 15 minutes, and when they did, a single firework went off.

People gathered to watch, but stood six feet apart in their family units. When the changes happened, there was a collective gasp and cheers, as we stood apart but still there together. And I cried every time.

This year, and it can’t be said enough, has been so hard and awful for everyone. We’ve been tried and tested, crushed and heartbroken, so many times. Some of us have risen to the challenges while those around us haven’t. In my line of work, we’ve lost so many patients. When I left Monday morning, our morgue was full and we had 68 positive covid patients. That’s two full units, with some rooms doubled up.

And I cried for all of that, for the collective goodness around me as people followed all the safety precautions while still searching for a bit of normal in a world turned upside down. I cried for the relief of just being there, feeling healthier than I have in years, feeling more hopeful and positive because of the fantastic vaccination news that came out today. I cried for all the patients whose hands I held in their last moments so they wouldn’t die alone. I cried for my coworkers, for all of us facing this every single day while also struggling through a culture war of ignorance and hate.

And I cried because I ate the fucking Dole Whip and it was fucking delicious.

Have hope. Love fiercely. Be safe. I love you all so much. ❤️